Love-hate relationship with alcohol

To keep the spirit high, I share my blogs about KortDroog on my own social media channels. It gives me just that little push to keep going at possible moments of weakness.

In addition, it forms a test with reality: how do others actually deal with alcohol? Quite (a lot) what people don't, that's what I conclude from the responses. Several of my friends and contacts appear to drink little or no alcohol. Some have never started it, others notice, as they get older, that the balance between burdens and pleasures is no longer okay and they drink less or no alcohol at all.

There are also people who wish me luck and try to make me feel good with the 'reward' that will soon be waiting for me -and by that they probably don't mean a nice cup of tea-.

There are surprisingly few people who admit to having a love-hate relationship with alcohol like me. For many it's just not an issue: they drink when they feel like it, which is usually not daily and not even a few times a week.

I also drink when I feel like it, but that is -if I don't make very conscious choices- that is about three days a week. Sometimes it's a glass, sometimes half a bottle and sometimes a bit more -although that happens less and less, because I really can't stand it anymore-.

Why is that an issue for me? Why do I have the idea that alcohol - just like smoking - is all or nothing? People who occasionally light a cigarette are still a kind of aliens to me. Smoking a little… That just isn't possible in my universe. I have the same with alcohol: an occasional glass means all other moments that present themselves very consciously saying 'No'. It's such a hassle, I think. It takes so much discipline. That is just so nice and clear in this month of KortDroog, Dry January and who knows, 40-Days-no-drop: I just don't do it.

In the meantime, I'm passing my fiftieth alcohol-free day. Even without alcohol I sometimes have a bad night. Even without alcohol I have my dips and stress. The euphoria of the first month gives way to habituation. It is said that it takes 40 days to form new habit patterns. Before they are ingrained you are another deluge further (which also seems to have lasted forty days).

I notice that other habits do indeed arise in which there is no room for lack. But that wear in… I feel it needs a while. Do I give myself that time? Do I make that investment and also sign up for 40-Days-No-Drop? I'm going to think about that over the next week… with a delicious virgin mojito.

Margreet (51) lives with her husband and teenage son in the middle of the country. She is now an experienced IkPasser, although not all her pass attempts were equally successful. After a month of Dry January, she continues for another period of Short Dry.