Long pauser talking

Monique (52) is a recidivist stopper. But she has stopped drinking for six months now. She was done with it. Yet it is still difficult, because alcohol is everywhere. Even when we are talking, Monique is confronted with alcohol. In the garage where her car is being repaired, there is a fridge full of drinks. “There are Desperados, wine and beer cold. But also some cola and orange juice, only I don't see that of course. My eye falls on the alcohol.”

“Nowadays I am very open about my alcohol break. Or alcohol stop I should say, because drinking a glass every now and then is no longer an option for me. I don't like the 'one for taste' principle. I have to empty the bottle. Before I openly stated that I no longer drink, I often let myself be tempted to drink. Even though I was in one of my many breaks again. I've really tried everything. Only drink on weekends. Only during parties. Not before 5 pm. Never drink alone. Etcetera. But none of those rules help me. For me it's all or nothing. So it must be nothing.

I used to drink every day. But I noticed that I was getting worse and worse. I often got sick from alcohol. Then I didn't drink for a day, but the next day I picked up my alcohol use again. At one point I paid a visit to the doctor with the blush on my jaws. He referred me to an addiction treatment facility. After the intake I never went back to it. I definitely didn't feel at home there. I functioned just fine and I couldn't identify with the average client. Then I saw an email from IkPas and thought: I'll do it my way. I haven't had a drink since January 1. After Dry January I stuck to it every time for a month. For me it's just 'Dry May' now.

My gain is my new energy. I go to bed earlier, get up fitter and can handle the day well. Even though I feel a hundred percent better, it's still a struggle. You are also confronted with alcohol everywhere you go. The wine aisle is easy to avoid, but the drink is also in the front of the supermarket, with snacks, and in all kinds of other places. Even standing here in the garage where my car is being made, I'm looking at a fridge full of alcohol. There are Desperados, wine and beer cold. But also some cola and orange juice, only I don't see that of course. My eye falls on the alcohol.

I can also wake up in the morning with a pounding heart, thinking that I drank the previous day. Fortunately, I soon find out that I haven't been drinking at all. I also look up to a party every now and then. So I have a wedding soon. My brother's. Of course there is a toast. I toast, but with something non-alcoholic. Even though I know I can do it, it's still exciting."

Photo credit: allearplugs.com.