Blogger speaking

Is it hard not to drink?

Yes, although it differs per day / evening. And that is also the big difference with my first stopping success: the difficult moments. I didn't have that then.

Maybe because at that point I was really done with the reason why I started drinking (loneliness within my relationship). That relationship had been broken for a few years, the grief worn away, the new house a home for all of us. It just took me a while to find the reset button.

Do I function well in daily life?

Yes, of course. I never drink more (and rarely less) than that liter bottle. My body is used to it, so I don't suffer from hangovers. Of course I never feel optimal, but it is enough to look great.

So why take on this challenge?

Because drinking is a must. Of course I have the choice not to drink, but my stupid brain refuses to listen to 'no'. Maybe I should speak louder, be more persuasive…but be persuasive without believing in it myself? Doomed to fail.

Now I notice that I can do it (again). And I'm quite proud of that!

Although it's difficult at the moment, because yesterday my mom was told she needs surgery for a tumour. Malignant, but grade I. Treatable, but the recovery generally takes longer in an 80-year-old. Plus the fact that mentally she's not where she needs to be yet. So worry…and that is a trigger for me.

Don't bring wine into the house (damn the supermarket that is open until 9 p.m. and is 3 steps away).

Looking for distractions (watching football). Texting with supporters (mine, not Ajax's)

I put it into practice and hope I don't get stranded!

So far so good…