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They used to be under my bed and if I was very lucky mom or dad would chase them away.

Now they are mostly in my head and I am the only one who can scare them away.

My biggest monster now is guilt. Look, I didn't just drink a little too much every now and then. I was addicted. And that was not only my problem, but also my environment. For a long time I could hide it, everything went fine, really. No, I had it under control. But it didn't go well, and no, I couldn't control it. And so the lies came, I hid my bottles. And if someone found them, I had to find better hiding places. This was a terrible time for my family. I knew it had to be done differently, but it didn't work. I kept burying my head in the sand, getting furious when anyone said anything about it.

When I finally got help and managed to leave the bottle, I was overjoyed at first! Because it felt so good to have everything in your own hands again, and to be able to say with pride: I don't drink anymore. Everything went great for a few months! I did notice that the environment kept a close eye on me, but I didn't mind that. Then came a short period when I didn't sleep very well. And the monsters came!! And they growled loudly, especially in my head. What had I done? How had it come to this, I felt terribly guilty. The people I love the most, I had hurt so much.

After a long late night conversation with my husband, he said, "You've made a big mistake, but you've been brave enough to face it and deal with it. What happened, has happened, you can't turn it back. But now it's time for your new life! Take a week off, do fun things, or if it makes you feel good, go clean the house, get back to life'.

Next week I have a mini vacation planned for myself. My hiking clothes are ready, as well as my new reading books. I got my favorite teas and soft drinks, plus my favorite chocolate. My phone goes off and I go out for 5 days. And those monsters? I put that in a bag, tie that bag shut and throw it away as far as possible.

I wish you all a nice weekend and see you next week!