So, really tired man...

Last week I wrote about headaches. Fortunately it was gone quickly. But man, I'm so tired the last few days. I sleep very deeply for about 8 hours a night (I usually rarely do that), but when I wake up I have the idea that I can sleep for another 3 hours. And this afternoon I was ready for an afternoon nap. Yesterday I ran 6 kilometers with great pain and difficulty, while I normally run 10 kilometers. My weight has not really decreased and my blood pressure is slightly lower, but not spectacularly.

In short, the health gains after the first week were not what I expected. Maybe a little too wishful thinking that after a law & lazy December would be completely up and running within a week.

So I'll just keep going. Because, I have to say, I do feel (despite the fatigue) that I am a lot sharper than usual. And I was already pretty sharp, if I'm honest. Beneath that fatigue, an enormous mountain of energy bubbles up. I feel good because I don't drink but maybe even more because I keep my own promise.

Admittedly, I did look for replacements: 0.0 bubbles (good to drink), a bit more expensive 0.0 wine (not really tasty) and virgin tonic (also a great drink). At first I felt guilty about this. Although it was of course alcohol-free, I still stick to the habit of having something tasty on the weekend. And delicious, as I also read from many other bloggers and on the forum, is something with alcohol. In my case white wine or a good gin and tonic. Or a strong beer on a winter Sunday afternoon.

And apparently I'm not alone in that. I have the idea that many IkPassers do not so much want to get rid of alcohol, but want to normalize and raise awareness about their drinking. Just a glass of wine or maybe a little more, but not the whole bottle (or more). A drink when it adds something, not when you're lounging on the couch. Those kind of things.

When I say that I'm shocked by the withdrawal fatigue, that's a bit doubly. I'm scared because it's very physical and hard to deny. The double thing is that I actually don't need that fatigue to know that I drink too much. I notice that in the morning.

The question still remains: “Then why am I drinking?”. The answer: “Just because it tastes good” explains something but is not very satisfying. Because it belongs? I must say that drinking has been a part of it from the moment I went out (longer ago than I'd like to admit) and in student life it expanded to drinks and dinners. That has never changed. But smoking was also part of it for a long time and I didn't stop with that in 2007 with great difficulty. I have been a non smoker for a long time now.

On the Trimbos site I came across this:

Alcohol, as well as other addictive substances, have a stimulating effect on the release of dopamine. This makes drinking alcohol a rewarding, pleasant and euphoric feeling.

Now I don't feel that I miss a rewarding, pleasant and euphoric feeling without alcohol. Or is there still some profit to be made? I'll think about that over the next week. Let's see if I can get to the why this month.