Blogger speaking

This week felt a little less good. I'm not sure, but I think it's a hormonal issue. Strange, because I've never had this problem before. Maybe a little, but now it really hit me. Maybe it's because I generally feel so good that I'm surprised that factors beyond my control can make me feel depressed. Feelings of restlessness, anger (for no real reason) and sometimes being sad for nothing. It was now for the first time that I occasionally thought that a drink (the quick fix) could help me. But I was strong enough not to. Unfortunately, my partner also suffered this week. Fortunately, after explanation from me, there was understanding. I also notice that just talking about how I feel helps. And simply accept that I'm not feeling well for a while. It will pass by itself, even without a drink.

Fortunately, I can look back on many positive things this week. I bought myself another vintage record player. Picking up my old hobby a bit again. I used to have a lot of fun playing LPs, but my not perfectly working record player made me forget it a bit. And now I thought it was time to give myself a nice reward for not drinking. And I notice that I got a lot of pleasure out of it again, and that I can enjoy it again.

Sports are also going very well. I alternate running with yoga, and this also pays off. I feel and see that my body is more in shape. A big difference from how I looked before my alcohol stop. My stomach in particular is much flatter. Strangely enough I don't see it on the scale yet, but I'm aware that weight doesn't say everything. Not at all if my muscles grow through exercise. Not drinking also ensures that I have more stamina. As a result, I enjoy the sport itself more, and it feels less like an agony I have to go through to stay in shape. So I can say that it is now more natural. I feel like exercising, instead of having to feel like it.

Yesterday I went out for dinner. Previously this was mainly 'drinking out'. Of course good food has always played an important role when I went to a restaurant, but a good beer or wine was just as important. Before going out for dinner, I also often thought about who wouldn't drink, and who I could ride with. Now I was comfortable with my own car. I enjoyed the evening without an alcoholic drink. The food tasted just as good to me and the conversations were just as pleasant as if I had been drinking. And the greatest reward came to me this morning. I slept well, felt rested and had enough energy to go for a nice run.

I can now also honestly say, I'm back! After a somewhat nasty week I feel just as strong, healthy and energetic as before. And the best part is that I have entered into all these feelings without numbing them. So I know for next time. I don't need the quick fix, because I can do it myself! So learned something again.

Until next week!