Habits
When I started questioning my own alcohol consumption about a year and a half ago, I saw my drinking as a habit I wanted to break. In the years before that, I had become accustomed to drinking (almost) every day. I just had to not do that for a while, then I would have broken my habit. I thought.
That was disgusting! I noticed that I could not sustain not to consume alcohol. I felt very bad about myself; thought I was weak. As a result, I actually felt better about myself in the periods when I drank a lot and didn't think about it, than in the periods when I drank considerably less but sometimes gave in to temptation.
I didn't understand myself. Why was it so hard to break this habit, when I'm generally pretty good at changing my habits?! An example. When I decided to go electric, I replaced my toothbrush with an electric one and that was it. It felt a little strange at first, that trembling thing, but it was easy to change my habit. Why is it so different when I replace all alcohol in the house with tasty and healthy alternatives? Another example. I love freshly squeezed orange juice. If it were discovered that oranges increase the risk of cancer, I would be very sorry, but probably (almost) never consume a drop of orange juice again.
Alcohol is simply addictive stuff, I now know. With that knowledge I am also kinder to myself. Nowadays I am especially happy with all the alcohol-free evenings that I experience. Gain experiences without alcohol. And if I did drink, I check for myself what the pros and cons were. I'm getting more and more convinced that alcohol doesn't do me any good. And the less I drink, the more I realize that I actually like orange juice much better!