Getting easier

It was a nice busy week. Son turned 10 years old. Last year on his birthday, the schools closed and he couldn't get a treat. This year he was delighted with his colorful space themed treat, his favorite subject. There were of course streamers, presents and cake, and he was spoiled with attention. He thought it was fantastic and I enjoyed it. Despite the party feeling, I never thought of alcohol for a moment.

Fitting has been going well for me lately. When I'm thirsty, I think about tea or something fresh. When I'm tired, I feel like going to bed on time. When I'm stressed, I prefer to curl up on the couch with a book. And if I'm restless, I'm going to clean up. Alcohol-free choices are therefore becoming more and more automatic. Delicious!

I also notice the benefits physically. I sleep soundly almost every night and often wake up on my own (which is new to me); my knees hardly bother me anymore; my gums are no longer painful (which I hadn't thought about before) and my skin is soft and supple. In general I just feel fitter and can concentrate better.

I still have my difficult moments. That I feel like a glass of wine (or more), without knowing exactly where that feeling comes from. That I know rationally that I don't want to drink now, but that the craving is still there. That's part of it, of course. I'm always happy afterwards if that I haven't had anything to drink. That 'afterwards' only came the next morning six months ago; now that feeling of 'glad I didn't drink anything' often comes an hour after the craving.

Now I no longer wonder why I want to pass, but why I should drink again. Why would I give myself a hangover anyway? Why should I significantly increase the chance of poor sleep? Why would I let myself get used to wine again, only to have to make the effort to let it go again? I don't know yet what I'm going to do after this break. Drink occasionally? Extend the break to 100 days? Never drink again? What is certain is that alcohol will play a much smaller role in my life and that feels great!